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27 Apr 2005, 09:15 pm
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#1 (permalink) | |
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Senior Tremekian
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Your Momma is soooo......
This should be fun.
OK people .......... post your best "Your Momma is sooo......" jokes here and we will see who has the best ones. THIS WILL NOT BE DIRECTED AT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR just put your best Momma insults here eg. "Your Momma is so fat ....... she sat next to EVERYONE in class!!!!" lets see how bad (or good depending on which way you look at it) the insults can get
__________________
....... Technology is the only Replacement for Displacement. Twin Turbo V8 Facts of Life Quote:
2003 Focus ZTS 2006 Honda VFR800 Interceptor |
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28 Apr 2005, 03:22 am
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#5 (permalink) |
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Dedicated Tremekian
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ur moms so fat she walked in front of the TV and we missed TWO episodes of law and order
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2nd member of Hijackerz INC. 1973 Mini Mk3 (my baby / autocross project) 1960 Simca Aronde Oceane (resto project) 1989 Supra MkIII (WHEEEEE!!) |
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28 Apr 2005, 03:25 am
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#7 (permalink) |
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Dedicated Tremekian
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ur moms is so fat she lives in Los Angeles so they dont notice when she goes for a walk
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2nd member of Hijackerz INC. 1973 Mini Mk3 (my baby / autocross project) 1960 Simca Aronde Oceane (resto project) 1989 Supra MkIII (WHEEEEE!!) |
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28 Apr 2005, 12:43 pm
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#10 (permalink) | |
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Senior Tremekian
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your moma is so old.. when i took her to see Jurasic Park.. she started having flashbacks!
your moma is so fat.. when she went to the zoo... the elaphants threw peanuts at her! your mom is so old... she pees rust and farts dust!
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LIVESTRONG Quote:
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28 Apr 2005, 03:09 pm
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#11 (permalink) |
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Senior Tremekian
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Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone! Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice. Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread. Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean! Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics." Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home. Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead. Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund. Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind. Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. Yo mama so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies! Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars. Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her Yo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her! Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?" Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry. Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower! Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote! Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out! Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested! Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone! Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween! Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday! Yo mama so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects! Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry! Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween. Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her. Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away. Yo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her! Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound. Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects. Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention! Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers! Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut. Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop! Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her... Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too Yo momma's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet. Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo" Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. Yo mama so fat were in her right now Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions! Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!" Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!" Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it. Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn" Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon! Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock. Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs! Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code! Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction! Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved! Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her! Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg. Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell! Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky! Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side! Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections! Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER! Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose. Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar! Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views! Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!! Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book! Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family! Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil! Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon! Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in! Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway! Yo momma's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side. Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks! Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand! Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper! Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out! Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights! Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car! Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out! Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans! Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!" Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller! Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck! Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it! Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it. Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas. Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground. Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep. Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck. Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets. Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. Yo mama so fat she influences the tides. Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones. Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out. Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her. Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World. Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family! Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips. Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes. Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas. Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps. Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs. Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket. Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back! Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial. Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean..... Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck. Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard. Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose. Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles. Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon. Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl. Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse. Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean. Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway. Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it. Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?" Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow! Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet. Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals. Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died. Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo mama so old her social security number is 1! Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook. Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock. Yo mama so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal. Yo mama so flat she's jealous of the wall! Yo mama so flat she's jealous of a book! Yo mama so flat she's jealous of a piece of paper! Yo mama house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it. Yo mama house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza. Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind. Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving. Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future. Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent! Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent. Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture! Yo mama so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers. Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth! Yo mama so dark she spits chocolate milk! Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan. Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone. Yo mama so bald even a wig wouldn't help! Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind Yo mama so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed. Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates! Yo mama aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back! Yo mama lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo. Yo mama hips are so big, people set their drinks on them. Yo mama hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it. Yo mama so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on. Yo mama twice the man you are. Yo mama is missing a finger and can't count past nine. Yo mama arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear. Yo mama middle name is Rambo. Yo mama in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more." Yo mama rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals. Yo mama so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday. Yo mama mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound. Yo mama gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo. Yo mama breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck. I saw your mama at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle. I saw your mama kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doing, and she said "Moving." Yo mama teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice. Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater. Yo mama so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh. Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down. Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach. Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left. Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection. I know theres a lot, and yes I copied and pasted, and some are lame, but Ill let you guys judge the quality  And yes, I have read them all before 
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28 Apr 2005, 03:44 pm
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#12 (permalink) | |
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Senior Tremekian
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ok that pretty much sums it up
__________________
....... Technology is the only Replacement for Displacement. Twin Turbo V8 Facts of Life Quote:
2003 Focus ZTS 2006 Honda VFR800 Interceptor |
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