Car Stories

[Memphis]

Found these online I like reading car stories so thought I'd post em feel free to add your own bishes



The Lead Sled Lincoln,

I believe every teenager that ever lived has always tried to pull one over on their parents, this is one of those stories.
Like most guys past and present we can't wait to get in our first car and drive it. In 1963 my friend Alan ( I'll call him that ) was
no different. He had talked his dad, ( who financially, was pretty well off ), into buying him a really *****n', custom to the max, '57 Lincoln convertible. This car was a bad to the bone, hard core "LEAD SLED" with every option Lincoln had at the time, plus, real bear fur seats and carpets, a record player, the multi-colored plastic knobs, a "BRODIE KNOB" on the steering wheel, cable operated exhaust cut-outs, and the coup de gras, a bar! Now if I remember right, it had about eight dispensers that poured out all your favorite drinks, not liquor , which we would have preferred, ( if you're the politically correct type, please don't pitch a fit, we were teens in the sixties ) the trunk was filled with hoses and tanks to hold all this, so using it for luggage was out of the question, we didn't care about that anyway. Looking cool was more important than luggage.

The bodywork on this ride was just as cool, with all the typical lead sled mods. Nosed and peaked hood, peaked front fenders, frenched headlights, shaved door handles, peaked and stretched rear fenders, frenched '54 Lincoln Capri taillights, shaved rear deck lid, and a Continental Kit that seem to stretch forever. The Lincoln was lowered using aircraft hydraulics controlled by all those plastic knobs. The ride stank, but hey! we sure looked cool. The paint color was pearl white and the convertible top was a dark brown to match the bear fur.

So here is this *****n' Lincoln sitting in your driveway and your only 15 years old. Your parents tell you that you can't drive it until your 16 and you have your license. YEAH RIGHT! All your new best friends, including me, are trying to convince you to sneak it out of the driveway while your parents are sleeping, no luck. Every cool girl in high school that thought you were a dork all of a sudden can't wait to get to know you. Hey Man! we're living in Studio City, California, Bob's Big Boy, Van Nuys, Hollywood , and Sunset Blvds. are just waiting for us to cruise them. We gotta' find a way to get this car out on the road!

Early on a Saturday morning the phone rings and my dad says it's for me. It's Reggie, ( my dad hates this guy ) he's the exact copy of Eddie Hascal on Leave It To Beaver. He tells me that Alan's parents left on a weekend trip and, well, you guessed it, we just have to talk Alan into taking his car out for a cruise while his parents are gone. So we run over to Alan's house and start grinding on him, it didn't take much grinding though. Alan says his dad hid the keys to the car where his dad really believed Alan could not find them ( foolish man, teens can find anything. ) Reggie convinces Alan that he should drive the car since he is the only one among us that has a drivers license. Alan is cool with that because he wants to play with the bar in the back seat, and I'm for it, because I want shotgun, the second most important position when your cruisn'. With keys in hand we head toward the car.

Reggie gets into the car, finds the power top switch and down goes the top. Alan jumps in the back seat and starts messing around with the bar, and yours truly gets into the shotgun position which I will regret soon enough. Reggie fires up the engine and the glass packs make a nice rumbling sound, we back out of the garage, and we're off, we're cruisn', and we're COOL.
We lived in a neighborhood right across from Universal Studios, there was an onramp to Hollywood Freeway at the end of our street, our first chance to mash the gas and fly down the road. We hit the freeway full bore, big smiles on faces while Alan's pouring drinks from that cool bar setup. On the road now for about ten minutes we're headed for Hollywood Blvd. doing about eighty miles per hour, we are, in our minds, lookin' cool. Then it happens, CLICK, CLUNK, WHAM!!! the hood flies open
and smashes into the windshield frame, bends over it and smacks Reggie and me on our not so bright heads. Reggie goes out like a light, I'm seeing stars but I'm still half with it and Alan is just plain freaking out. If you have ever had your hood fly open at speed, then you know the feeling, if you have not, you don't want to know.

Eighty miles per hour, Reggie's out cold, his foot still on the gas, and we can't see a damn thing, are we having fun now or what? Still in a daze I manage to kick Reggie's foot off the throttle while Alan's leaning over the front seat trying to steer the Lincoln. Alan, in total panic mode is screaming, HIT THE BRAKES!, HIT THE BRAKES!!!!, believe me, I was trying.
I finally manage to wedge my foot in between Reggie's feet, get it on the brake pedal, and get the car stopped. Stunned, we sit there in total silence, my heart feels like it is coming out of my chest , I can't say a thing. Finally I hear somebody yelling, are you guys O.K. As I start coming around I hear Alan screaming my dad is going to kill me, my dad is going...., Reg is still out.
I'm sure glad they did not have cell phones back then because we didn't even want to see a cop or for that matter have anyone call one. The guy that's checking on us is looking at Reggie with some concern, and finally Reggie starts to come out of it. I ask if the guy has a piece of wire or coat hanger as I start to bend the hood down and try to get in place so we can tie it down and get the hell out of there before the cops show up, Alan's starts crying.

WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL MY DAD! WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL MY DAD! Alan was screaming! Reggie and I could care less what he was going to tell his dad, we just wanted to get home. My head felt like it was going to explode as Reggie pulled into Alan's driveway. We both jumped out of the car and left Alan sitting there, he looked like he was about to throw up. I'll never forget looking back at that Lincoln with a perfect body and the hood all bent up. I don't know to this day what Alan told his dad, nor do I know what his dad did to him. We thought his dad would read our dads the riot act, but he never said a thing to them as far as I know. We never hung out with Alan after that, and I'm sure he was told not to hang with us, or else. As it was, we didn't see him for six months after the incident. When we did, he never said a thing, can't say as I blame him, who needs enemies when you have friends like me and Reggie.

Hope you folks get a chuckle from this story.
It is a true one, who could make this up?

Rick









P.S. There's more about this Lincoln but I'll tell that one later.



The Flying Washing Machine,

For some reason if your a car guy in your teens but your dad could care less about cars, any part or item that is laying around that has to do with your car hobby is in the way. Mike and I were always trying to find a way to make a buck. While cruising around in his '62 427 Ford Galaxi ( it was originally a 406 tri-power car) we noticed a really nice 64 1/2 HI-PO Mustang with dark tinted windows. Today tinted windows on your car is no big deal, but back in 1967 it was really scarce to see a car that had them, unless it was a Limo . Mike and I decided to tint the windows in his car, then do mine. Today, tinting is a pretty easy process, you cut the tint film to fit the window, get the glass wet, and squeegee on the film. Back in the sixties you needed a flow machine for the liquid tint, and that's where the washing machine enters this little story. We got an old washing machine from a friend of ours dad who just purchased a new machine, so he was more than happy to get the old beast off his back. After taking the pumps out, we set the old machine aside and got to making our tinting machine. In a few days we had the contraption up and running and to our surprise it worked, in fact, it worked great! After we tinted the windows in our cars we started making money doing friends and other rodders cars. We lived by George Barris's Shop and ended up doing some Kustoms out of his shop.

Anyway back to the washing machine. After a year or more, probably more, Mike's dad was fed up with looking at that old machine in his driveway in front of the garage. One afternoon while we were under Mike's Galaxi putting in a new Top Loader transmission his dad came out to the garage and informed us in an earnest manner that the washing machine would be finding a new home at the dump, and Mike and I would be the two to make that happen. Gee! why was he so mad! Hey! we were making money, that should make him happy. Just because we were thinking about ourselves and could care less about the wonderful view Mike's dad had of that old machine from his bedroom window was no reason for him to get uptight, right? Wrong!

Damn It! This was a real inconvenience, we had to stop what we were doing just to take this thing to the dump. I had a '59 Ford Ranch Wagon at the time so we decided to put the machine in the back and haul it away. We had to find a way to make this chore fun and at the same time avoid a trip all the way to the dump. Los Angeles was a pretty big city back then, so it wasn't going to be a short drive to get rid of this thing.

Toluca Lake, California was a pricey area back then and still is (Bob Hope and a multitude of other stars live there) this is also where Mike lived. When you do something crazy , it tends to stand out in a upper crust neighborhood. As we were sitting in my car I think the idea came to both of us at the same time, why don't we go down a couple of blocks where the golf course is and freak out some golfers and the neighbors. COOL! So here comes the fun , I get out of the car, open the rear window and pull down the tailgate, Mike climbs into the back of the car with his back against the front seat and his feet on the washing machine. I had a 390 GT engine out of a wrecked Mustang, and that was good enough to get the old wagon rolling at a pretty quick pace. We pull out of Mike's driveway and we were laughing hard , this is going to be so cool we say to each other as we head for the golf course.

It was about three o'clock on a Saturday afternoon when we pulled onto the street next to the golf course. The golf course was to our right and the pricey houses to our left. NAIL IT! Mike yells! and I hammer down the gas pedal. In no time at all we're going around 65 M.P.H. and then Mike pushes on that old washing machine and out it goes. I can't really describe the sound a washing machine makes when it hits the pavement at 65 M.P.H. but believe me, it's a sound like no other. As the machine hits the pavement Mike yells, FOUR!!! I'm looking in my rear view mirror and see parts flying everywhere as this machine self destructs while flying down the street, then I look over at the golfers, parts start hitting the fence and they are running for cover. It's a wonder we didn't kill anyone. I look to the left as I'm slowing down and what's left of the washing machine has caught up with my car and ends up on one of the houses door steps. Needless to say we hightail it out of there.

On the way back to Mike's house we could hardly breathe we were laughing so hard. A little later, after we had regained our composure, Mike decides to borrow his mothers car to go back and take a look at the results of our stupidity. Parts are everywhere, the street, the fence, the lawns, and what's left of the machine on someone's porch has a crowd of about ten people standing around it with some guy pointing to the sky as if it fell out of a plane. When Mike's dad got back from a day of golfing he noticed that we had removed the washing machine, and thanked us for getting rid of it. We told him, NO PROBLEM!!!



The Ax

It's friday night, my buddy Mike ( Yeah it's Mike again! ) and I finish washing and waxing our cars and decide to head out for a night of cruising. We get in Mike's car ( the same tricked out '62 Galaxi in the previous story ) and motor over to Bob's Big Boy in Toluca Lake. This drive-in is where we usually started our cruise nights. Van Nuys Bob's and all the other cruise spots would come later . By the time we got there, a line had already started to form, so I got out of the car and told one of the car- hops that liked us that we would park at the west side of the building and to signal us when a car was ready to leave. You always wanted to be in the parking spots facing the car-hops, that way they could flirt, and you could be cool. We made a lot of people mad by sneaking in that way, but no one gave us to much grief because I was 6'4" 220 lbs. and Mike was 6'5" 230 lbs. Boy! were we jack asses, but hey, it was fun.


Not long after we parked and ordered our burger and fries we heard a familiar sound behind us, it was Steve in his blown big block '66 Corvette waiting to get a parking space up front with the rest of us so- called, cool guys. Steve was not a patient kind of guy, he made me and Mike look like midgets. This guy was big! Along with his size came a big size attitude, usually not a good one. This was the kind of guy you always wanted to be on the good side of, because if he did not like you, he let you know it, immediately. For some reason, he liked me and Mike ( Thank God! ). Behind Steve's Vette were two girls in a Chevy station wagon, they were all smiles, listening to their radio, bouncing around in the front seat, they were two chicks having fun!

As the line of cars crept forward, Steve started revving that big block, he's getting an attitude I think to myself, he obviously wants to get parked and chow down on a burger, and if that does not happen soon, he'll probably pulverize something... just because!. Well, that's about to happen, the two girls bouncing around in the car behind Steve are about to get an education in REAL BAD ATTITUDE! The girl driving was obviously not paying attention to the brake pedal and the station wagon rolls forward and hits the rear bumper of Steve's Vette, THUMP! The Vette's engine shuts down. Mike and I put our burgers back on the tray and we get ready to watch what's about to happen. The door of the Corvette flies open and Steve lurches out of his car, he walked back and saw thats the station wagon bumper was up against the rear bumper of the his beloved Vette. Without saying a word Steve walked back to the door of his car, leaned in, and came out with a double bladed ax. I don't know why Steve had that ax in the back of his car, maybe he was saving it for a special occasion like this. Still not saying a word Steve strolled up to the front of the Chevy wagon, lifted the ax high over his over his head, and then with a big swing buried it into the wagons hood. Mike and I yelled "HOLY SH.....T!" and start laughing our butts off.

Still silent, Steve got back into his car, pulled into a vacant space next to our car, and ordered a drink and a couple of double decker burgers. I leaned out of the passenger window and asked," How's it going Steve? he said, "Not bad, what are you guys up to?". Mike answered, "Just hanging out man". The girls with the Chevy wagon were standing by their car looking at the ax handle sticking out of the hood. They were crying, and just plain freaking out. A couple of minutes later the drive-in manager came out, and told Steve that he had called the cops, and that they were on the way. Steve said, "So what! Let them come! I'll be sittin' here eatin' my burger". The manager disappeared inside the building. Mike and I ordered more fries, we just had to see what was going to happen next.

The manager obviously did not want any more trouble from Steve. A Car- Hop brought Steve his food, and carefully attached the tray to his car door. Steve sat in his car and seemed satisfied to be filling his face with food. The Burbank cops arrived about five minutes after Steve started eating. Four cop cars and two motorcycle cops showed up. One of the motorcycle cops knew Steve pretty well, so he was the one elected to tell Steve to get out of his car. The cop said, " I need you to get out of your car, NOW!" Steve answered, "WHY?" The cop said, " Don't play games with me! You know why!". Steve said, "If I have to get out of my car, I'm going to have to hurt somebody". Mike was not happy with that reply because he had a very expensive paint job on his car and did not want a fight to break out between his car and Steve's. The dents and scratches that could occur would not make for a happy beginning of cruise night.

Steve finally exited his car and walked to the back of it. He bent over pointing to the non-exsisting scratch on his rear bumper and said to the cop, "LOOK AT THAT SCRATCH!" , "WHAT SCRATCH?" the cop replied. As the cop bent over to take a look, stupid Steve buried his knee into the cops face. All hell broke loose, but at least it was behind Steve's car and not next to Mike's. It took every cop there to subdue Steve. Not to much later, Steve in handcuffs, started yelling at the cop he knew, "The next time I see you I'm going to kick your ass!" Of course Mike and I were laughing our guts out. What a great way to start the night.

A week later we were sitting in Bob's starting on a new cruise night when Steve pulls in. He told me and Mike he was out on bail and that it cost a fortune to get his car out of impound. He was really mad because the tow truck operator trashed his front bumpers while towing the car. Mike looked over at me with this weird grin and whispered, "Watch this" Mike said to Steve,
" Hey Steve!, that motorcycle cop is sitting across the street in the gas station keeping an eye on this place ". Steve looked across the street and spotted the cop. In the blink of an eye Steve ran over to the cop, knocked him off his bike and beat the tar out of him. Again cops were everywhere and Steve went to jail again. Mike and I did not see Steve again.

[Memphis]

The Would be Theif
This story is about a "CLOWN" we knew who liked to drive cool cars, liked to brag, always thouht he was better than everyone else, but he also liked to steal stuff! On a hot Saturday night my friend Renny called me and asked if I wanted to go cruising in his Bib Block powered '61 Caddy convertible. Never one to turn down a good cruise night I accepted the invitation. I drove over to Renny's place and we headed out to Toluca Lake Bob's where all us locals started our night of cruising. Bob's was about two blocks away from Renny's place so we did not have to go far. After parking in a choice spot up front in the drive-in we started our let's be cool session with the Car Hops. After several minutes of conversation with the roller skate queens the "CLOWN" shows up and starts talking with Renny. I never really liked this guy so I kept on talking to one of the Car Hops.

Now Renny was another one of the guys in our crowd that you really wanted to be on the good side of because if you were not, he would and could make your life miserable. Ater talking with the "CLOWN" for a few minutes Renny made it clear to him that he was done talking and wanted to eat his hamburger and fries before they got cold! After we finished eating, we headed out for Hollywood to cruise and get a cold drink at Tiny Naylor's. Tiny Naylor's was a great drive-in that no longer exits. After taking a break we headed down Sunset Blvd. to Pacific Coast Highway, from there we thought we head for the Santa Monica Pier.

We met some girls at the pier and they really wanted to go cruising in that Caddy, the night turned into a long one. About four in the morning Renny decides he's had enough, I was getting tired too, so we dropped off the girls and headed for Renny's house. When we got there Renny pulled into his driveway and parked. This is where the real story starts to take place.

Above stories are from
Humorous Car Stories

[comp24]

wow.. i just spent a long ass time reading all those lol.. good stories though!

[v_dub_ya]

some good stories

[UKunt]

no homo reading all that....

[EH!]

they were surpisingly good stories

[GTIKEN]

Those were all pretty funny to read. I have one to throw into the mix thats pretty good, here it goes:

Ever since before I got my license I've been pretty much obsessed with mulholland highway and the surrounding roads since they are some of the best "circuits" in the world, end of discussion. I used to go up and drive 800 miles on a 12 mile road with 160 turns 3-5 times a week with a lunch break in between.

Well my 1st car was a 1996 Green Volvo 850. Had bilstein shocks, sway bars from a budget volvo performance company and whatever the best tires i could afford to throw on it at the time were, usually potenza S-03s, Toyo T1-Rs or sometimes even economy tires if i had burned the rubber down on the good ones. I used to run the shit out of this car on these roads all day, a few times i can recall passing guys in EVO 8s at over 100mph in the thing. Its a lot of fun to get this look from evo drivers and guys who don't know what they are doing in sports cars.

Heres where it gets good:
The night I graduated high school instead of going to disneyland with my entire graduating class (which sucks because ur stuck there until 6am and you go at 8pm the same night) I decided to go to mulholland for a last cruise before selling the car which i was planning to do in about a month. I'm going down mulholland highway and work up to my usual break-neck pace of tripple digit speeds in the straights etc etc. Well i get to one of my favorite corners and im entering at about 80 maybe 90mph on this long right hand corner.

In my lane i see a rock about the size of a pint size beer glass. At 90mph u really dont have a lot of time to think about which way to go over this rock that just came around a blind turn, i cant turn left cause ill go flying off the road and i cant tuck in right since theres a mountain wall. I decide to go straight over the car with my foot in it...im in a volvo right? I have ground clearance right? haha...no.

Immediately as i go over this rock i hear the loudest PINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG ive ever heard, the kind of sound when u throw a rock into a metal object as hard as you can. I look in my rear view mirror only to see fire about 6-8 feet tall coming out of the back of my car. I slow down to maybe 20mph and jump out of the car. My volvo rolls into the side of the hill with smoke pouring out from under the car. No reception on a cell phone where i am so i try to go back up the hill, the car starts losing oil and eventually the engine blows up while im trying to head up this hill. I ended up getting towed, my dad drove me home. When the tow truck guy looked at my car he said the tires had started melting on all four corners.

Now, 2 years later I have absolutely no idea what happened to that car or where it is. the rock ended up busting a hole the size of god in the oil pan which is what caused the fire.
I have a picture of it somewhere ill try to find. Anyway, it was an exciting way to end high school...



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